Those of us in our 40’s have gotten used to dealing with mortality. With our parents in their 70’s and 80’s, dealing with the death of a family member has become something we have had to learn to live with. But the death of someone of our age hits us like a sledgehammer. A couple of years ago my dear friend Tim lost his wife to cancer – that was the first time that I felt the sting of death so close to me.
Tonight my brother told me of the death of my cousin Marian from lung cancer. She was only 52 and left behind three children. Death is as much a part of life as birth is, and although I had known that Marian had been battling cancer for a while, it still shook me to think such a lovely human being was gone.
It saddens me to say that I have not been close with my cousins over the years. Long ago battles between our parents and grandparents put the distance into place and I so wish I had not let old wounds from an older generation keep me from the cousins I was once close with.
When I think of Marian McNeill, I think of my fellow former wild-child from an otherwise straitlaced family, she with her red hair and Irish features she inherited from her father. I think of the fact that when I picture her, I can only see her smiling, She was a lovely, kind human being and the fact that she is gone at 52 makes me deeply sad.
After he lost his brother in a plane crash, my old friend Garnet Rogers began to live by the rule that you never miss the opportunity to say I love you to those who are at the center of your world. It may be trite to say, but life is too short and too uncertain to not say what you feel to those you love.
Rest in peace Marian.